Work in progress

   On Monday I resigned from my job after having my boss take advantage of me for the last time. For five months I put in hours and hours of my time to be as good as I could be for my job and for four months I never knew when my day would start (sometimes 6am sometimes noon whenever he felt like it) or end (as early as noon as late as 730pm) I also did not know what day I would get payed, if at all that week.
    Today two days before my last official day he has the nerve to call and yell at me about how I would have been fired had I not quit. I respectfully told him that I was sorry he felt that way and he could mail me my last check...... what I really wanted to say is you have to be f-ing kidding me I worked many 12hour days not knowing what time my day would end, dealing with an extremely fussy child all for 100$ a week!
   I am the kind of person that would do anything for people I consider friends...and many people would attest to that. I am the kind of friend that will wake up in the middle of the night to pick you up and take you home and never complain. I constantly seek others approval, sometimes to much, and I really hate letting people down. So even when I knew my boss was walking all over me and I knew that the stress was pushing me back from all the progress I was making, quiting was really one of the hardest things I had to do. I guess that why I am so upset about today.

On a brighter note now that I don't have the stress of a unstructured job, I can once again focus on healing. I have removed all laxatives and scales from my house along with all my "goal" pants. I am 5 feet 7 inches 135 pounds and beautiful. Tomorrow I plan on clearing out and organizing my house, shopping for  foods (that I will eat) and viewing my new found freedom as a new start, because we all are entitled to a few do overs.

I know that with my disorder I will have relapses and my councilor's are working with me, but I have to start living for me at some point in my life. I'm only 20 something after all.

“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect,

 he becomes an adolescent;

the day he forgives them,

 he becomes an adult;

the day he forgives himself,

 he becomes wise”

~ Alden Nowlan