Life

I have Been gone for quite a while now (not unusual for me)

I gave birth to a healthy baby girl, I gained 70lbs putting me at 190 exactly the day I delivered. it took a week for all the anxiety that comes with anorexia to come back. I was loosing if pretty quickly doing nothing however my weight leveled out at 160. that was TWO weeks ago. it has been torture for me.

to top it off my sister in law look as if she has been losing weight! Blah it wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't so mean and i liked her right now, but in the words of her brother "She has always been a bitch  and she always will" ugh i don't know why i want her to like me!!!! I have just ALWAYS wanted a big sister which was something i was hoping for. not that i did much to give her a reason to like me.

my mental disorder *depression* along with the fact that i would go days without taking in more than 500 Cal's a day made me a very angry person. Her and i haven't fought in over a year "in fact we hardly ever talk :(" i wish she could see that i have changed. But as much as i get upset or hurt by her nothing is more important than how much she loves my girls after all they are the most important.

maybe one day she will like me too.